So sorry for this being a week later! Once I got home from camp we headed pretty much straight out to my grandparents for the Fourth of July where we had a wonderful time! It has always been a tradition to go out to Robber's Cave where my mom's parents live and watch the fireworks display that they put on there. Its very fun but you also see the epitome of the word "redneck" left and right. Lest to say it makes for some interesting people watching... Well once we got home from there I was completely exhausted, and that is why I am writing this post 5 days later than intended!
Camp was fun and going back to Shepherds Fold Ranch made me wonder how I could have survived two whole years away from it! I am truly in love with the place and people there, and, Lord willing, I definitely plan on being on staff next summer. I just don't think I can bear being away again!
Now onto what this post's main topic: the second half of my testimony.
(Now I did talk some about this in my first post so bear with me some of the repetitiveness)
Once I was rededicated and baptized I never had any doubts again. I remember being in seventh grade when my mom started reading a blog called Kisses from Katie. This girl was amazing! Katie Davis was only nineteen, living in Uganda, teaching kindergarteners in a local Christian school there, and helping to care for orphans in an orphanage there. I knew that this girl knew what all this was about. She knew what was up when it came to christianity and didn't want any of the fake stuff. She wanted real, raw, unwavering faith. A faith that you have to rely on God for literally everything. That is when I first felt my calling to the mission field. I knew that I wanted to go to Africa. I told my mom this and she pretty much called me crazy to my face (God worked in her heart too and now is very much so on board and would love to come with me to Africa sometime too), but I didn't care because I knew at age 13 that was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to do. I wanted to help those who had nothing. I wanted to give even just a few dozen out of millions of orphans in the world hope. I wanted to show them love when they knew none. I wanted to give them someone that they could count on and trust when they feel the whole world is against them. I wanted to show them that I love them because Jesus first loved us. How are we supposed to tell the lost and impoverished about Jesus and His love for them when they have no idea what love is in the first place? That's what Katie was and still is doing to this day, and it is still a flame in my heart as well.
Though still to this day I have never been on a mission trip neither foreign or domestic. I have done local works of service which of course is still doing work for God and nothing to be ashamed of, but not once have I been on a real mission trip. I see all the time kids my age and younger going frequently on trips and I just can't help but wonder why I've never seemed to be able to go on one. I have tried several times and each time it seems to slip through the cracks.
This is where my little human self starts to question and compare. I see people who want to be missionaries and others who have never considered it a day in their life and they go on all these amazing mission trips around the world with wonderful experiences and huge God moments, and I start to ask myself why can I never seem to go on a trip. Am I not trying hard enough? Am I not dedicated enough? Are they doing something right with God that I'm not? Can I even be a full time missionary without going on a mission trip in high school? All these thoughts of doubt and comparison try to flood me, but why should I be comparing my journey with other peoples'? I have to stop myself and remember that God has a plan for me and His timing is always perfect. If I don't go on a mission trip till I'm 30 doesn't mean that I can't be a full time foreign missionary. It may not come about typically, but I know God has not put this on my heart so strongly for no reason. He will make it happen someday. Whether in college or up into my middle ages He will provide me with the perfect time to go and I will see it fall into place as it always does. I just simply have to remind myself of this.
God is never wrong and His plans are never flawed. He loves my eager heart and will guide me on the right path so long as I am eager. If you are having a similar situation don't lose hope! Don't start to doubt that you are cut out for the foreign mission field or that it's your calling! God knows exactly where He wants you and the perfect timing for you to be there! In the mean time be a light and a missionary for Jesus right where you are. Don't think that you have to travel to Uganda to be in the mission field because God has called us to spread the gospel to Jerusalem (your town), Judea (your state), Samaria (your country), and to the ends of the earth. Simply trust God and you will go far!
Much love,
Kurstie
